Shabbat decisions

Hi, I grew up non-observant (in former Soviet Union). As my family brought me to US and I have been learning more about Torah and Judaism, I have been trying to be more observant and raise my children that way. We are nowhere near Orthodox and don’t live in a religious community but we don’t go in a car on Shabbat, don’t eat pork, some other stuff. I have been really struggling with giving up activities for my kids because of Shabbat. First it was just birthday parties, then sports, then Arts, as so many events/competitions take place over Shabbat. One of my kids has won a math competition at her school, and the next stage of it is also on Shabbat. We have a way to walk to the competition but it definitely involves writing. I hate forcing her to quit yet another thing, and I don’t want her to grow up hating Shabbat because of the various things that had to be given up for it. Whatever we end up doing at home for Shabbat is not necessarily very Shabbat -appropriate either (music, drawing, computer etc). Supposedly the event website says they can make accommodations for religious observance, and I asked, but not holding my breath for a good solution other than them letting us just forfeit the spot. Now that I asked, if they say no, and I still let her do it, is that Chillul Hashem? I realize I am supposed to trust Hashem to take care of this and I realize people have given up greater things for Shabbat but still really struggling with this. Help!

Shalom!

Thank you for writing.

It is wonderful that you are making efforts to be more and more observant. The observance of Shabbat is so important and observing Shabbat brings blessing to your home and life.

Yes, activities for kids can be challenging, especially when there are no other kids in the neighborhood who are also shomer shabbat.

The best thing you can do now for your future and the future of your children is to move to a Jewish neighborhood where you have an orthodox synagogue and a rabbi who can guide you.

At this time, you should encourage your children to keep Shabat even when challenging. Consider offering them prizes and treats for keeping Shabbat, especially when they have to miss activities.

Reach out to the closest rabbi and synagogue near you. I am sure the rabbi will do whatever he can to make you, and your children, feel welcome and a part of the community.

May you see blessings and happiness from your efforts!

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